Dealing With Criticism
Criticism plays a part in everyday life. It is a natural action of the brain to assess a situation and to make or pass judgments. God blessed each of us with creativity, problem solving, and critical thinking skills. We can use these same skills to “rise and build” and/or to “rise and tear down.”
Criticism is defined by Webster’s as “the act of criticizing usually unfavorably.” The interesting part of that definition is the inclusion of the word “unfavorably.” The etymology of the word “criticism” goes back to a time when someone would judge the merits of literary or artistic worth. It carried a meaning of having a well-informed judgment over a matter. Over time, criticism became more associated with having an objection or with expressing a dissent or dislike. Since criticism in our day carries such a negative connotation, we even added a descriptive word (“constructive”) before it to make sure the other person knows our intent. Stopping criticism can only be achieved by turning off our brains; since that is not an option, we need to look to the Bible for direction. Criticism is about attitude, and the Bible provides the principles that will govern our attitudes and our actions.
First and foremost, we need to talk less. Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 5:2 “do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven, and you are on earth, so let your words be few.” Every situation does not require your vocal opinion. The next time you evaluate a situation in your mind, consider keeping your mouth shut.
If a situation arises that requires your verbal criticism, consider your attitude before proceeding. 1 Thess-alonians 5:11 says “therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Make sure your critique encourages and builds up and doesn’t tear down. 2 Timothy 2:24-25 says “and the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.” Criticism is much more effective coming from someone who is not ready for a fight, from someone who is kind, and from someone who corrects with gentleness. Gentleness means you are free from harshness, and you are meek in your approach. 1 Corinthians 13 provides the motive we should have behind all our actions. Verses 4-7 says “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” If you are motivated by love, your next critique will be guided by patience, kindness, and humility.
Also, be careful when listening to others criticize. Evaluate situations against your own experience and using your own brain. We live in a society where “reviews” govern our actions. What do the reviews say about a certain product or place? While those reviews can be helpful, they can also be misleading or simply untrue. How many times have you bought a 5-star rated product and thought, how did this get 5 stars? Proverbs 5:11-12 says “whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.” The negative criticism you hear others say is not always true nor does it typically lead to fixing a problem that needs attention. If you have a problem, or if you hear of a problem, think it over, pray about it, and then go to the source with a proper attitude. Quite often, you will be amazed to learn the real story.
Last, have a humble heart that can listen to the critique of others. Proverbs 15:31-32 says “the ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.” Proverbs 27:6 says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Hebrews 11:6 says, “for the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” God chastens and disciplines us because we need it. He also put us together in the church to help each other. Sometimes that requires criticism and difficult conversations. If you are on the receiving end of criticism, listen to the admonition and then take action to improve. If there is not merit to the critique, say thank you, take action to improve anyway, and don’t hold a grudge.
Criticism will be a part of any effort to rise and build. God has lit the path in his word for how we ought to deal with it. Let us consider his prescribed wisdom and walk therein.
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