A Dozen Ways to Murder a Church
If you would like to kill the work of your local congregation, then I have the perfect plan:
- Skip services often and encourage others to skip, too.
- When you do attend, come in late and cause a little disturbance. While there, take a good nap.
- Always be critical and nit-picky.
- Never volunteer to help, but always complain about the way the volunteers are doing things.
- Even though you don’t want to volunteer, still act annoyed and put out when you don’t get an important job.
- If asked directly to give your opinion, act like you don’t have one. Later, get on the phone and tell others how things should have been done in the first place.
- Never do more than absolutely necessary, then accuse those who are doing the work of being a clique.
- Withhold your contribution and tell-others why you don’t think they should support the work either.
- When you do volunteer for a job, just do a half hearted mediocre job.
- Never compliment or encourage any of the members.
- Don’t bother with converting anyone, but if you do, then make sure that they are as negative and disruptive as you.
- Every time you hear some juicy gossip be sure to tell everyone you can. After all, it is your duty to proclaim the truth. Your brethren have a right to know.
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