Parental Pointers from the Prodigal
The Parable of the Prodigal is at once one of the most pensive and disturbing of Jesus' famous illustrative narratives. It connects to the human heart in a way that is direct and arresting. It speaks of losing, but it speaks of winning, too. It speaks of sadness, then gladness, then sadness again. It's very much like life, this parable.
The first lesson to be learned from perusing it is the one Jesus wanted known. It was given in answer to those who had criticized his relationship with the publicans and sinners. “I came to seek and save the lost,” He says. That's the initial message of this triptych of parables. However, there are some incidental truths in this account that are very valuable, especially to parents in this age. Read the parable again carefully. Read it aloud. Then please note these things parents can learn from the parable of the prodigal.
The far country is an enemy of the family. Forbidden fruit has always had its appeal. It's the same with the lights of the far country. This lad didn't just get up one morning and decide he was going to “waste his substance with riotous living.” It was a process. He had thought about how great it would be for a long time. He had dwelt on its pleasures and contemplated its delights long before he decided to go over there.
We live in an age where restrictions are few and where the far country is not really very far. It's enticements, furthermore, are not frowned upon in many families and its allurements are not discussed because the family is not actually together very much. We need to wake up to the dangers of the culture we live in and warn our kids about its possible encroachments and the ease with which it can tantalize and tempt them and how quickly it can carry them away. It's fine to let out a little rope, but we need to pull on it once in a while, too.
Good families can have bad kids. There is no indication in the parable that the Father's values were ill-defined, or that his restrictions were loose and ambiguous. Actually, the indication is that the rules were strict and the values carefully stated and that's the reason the son wanted to be loose. He felt cramped by the rules, and his fun was hampered by the restrictions. No one knows what causes good families to have bad kids, but one thing is certain: every person has his own will and ultimately makes his own decisions. This young fellow came from a good family; but he wanted something else. He decided what he wanted by himself. And so a good kid went bad. Why? Who knows? He just went bad because he decided he wanted to.
But if a kid goes bad, it ought to be after we've done all we can. Far more youngsters go bad on account of a lack of restrictions than go bad in spite of them. We should not despair because our restrictions are thought to be impositions. We should not grow weary because our rules are disdained and our restraints despised by our children. We must keep in mind that love and discipline are always connected and that “whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth” (Heb. 12:6).
Bad kids don't always stay bad. This kid went bad–really bad. He “wasted his substance with riotous living,” and probably “devoured thy living with harlots.” That's bad, folks. Not only that, but (assuming this was a young Jewish boy), he went so bad that he was feeding pigs and was ready to eat the millet they ate. He was about as low as you could get, wallowing about in a pig's sty. But, you know what? He came to himself. That's right, he came to! Furthermore, he remembered where he came from. He knew what to do about his situation. He decided to go home.
It's just so that bad kids don't always stay bad. Some do, that's for sure; but many don't. Instilling high values and good morals is not a waste of time. It's encouraging that sometimes when they're at their lowest ebb, your training and discipline come to the fore. It's then that they remember their up-bringing and decide that maybe it wasn't so bad after all. It's then that they come to their moral senses and realize that your nagging and scolding had a reason. It's when they need to come home that it all begins to make sense. This kid came to himself and he went home.
The ones that stay home aren't always so good either. The elder brother apparently had the same rules and restrictions, but he didn't leave home. But that doesn't mean he was a good boy. In fact, his attitude at his brother's return shows that while he was at home, his heart wasn't in the right place. He didn't disobey the rules, but that didn't mean all was well with his soul. How is it that he could not rejoice with the father at the return of his brother? Why did he react as he did? Why was he not pleased to see his brother's return home?
The attitude of the older brother proves one thing: you can be evil in the midst of good surroundings. Just being close to good doesn't argue that you're good. Just looking good on the outside doesn't really argue anything; it's what's on the inside that counts in the ultimate reality.
Don't give up. “But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him...” How do you account for that? Simple. His father was continually watching for him. He no doubt had prayed for his return. And prayed. And prayed. He knew what direction he had gone when he left, and he knew that the boy knew the way home, so he just kept on looking. And looking. And looking. And one day he say him coming.
There is never any give up in love. Love just keeps hoping and hoping, just keeps looking and looking. No matter how long it's been, no matter what has been done, no matter how deep the hurt or how long the anguish, the Father just keeps on looking; and so must we. Notice, I did not say “the father,” but “the Father.” We may leave him, but He said, “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee” (Heb. 13:5). It's always in order to go home, no matter how far away you've been.
Parenting is hard business. I hope this has helped a little.
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